One thing about writers is that we love to talk about books and sometimes we can get together and muse about the success of published authors — you know whether or not they “deserved” it. It can be a slippery slope to all out bitch fest if kept unchecked. At times when it’s really ugly, you can literally feel the bitterness in the room. Why not me? What’s so great about that writer?
I found a great blog post by author Tayari Jones, Tough Love From Tayari where she gave some really good tough love advice for writers.
“My rule– and my students will attest to this– is that you are not allowed to claim any other writer is a hack if you have not finished your book. [...] Have you finished yours? If not, shut up and get to work. It’s really that harsh and it’s really that simple.”
Tough love indeed. But I love it! She also makes a good point about staying the course:
“When you are working, you feel better about yourself. After all, writing is what makes you a writer. And when you feel like a writer, you are less worried about the latest celebrity book deal. Your mind is on your characters, on your poetry, on your art.”
I try not to get into “that writers sucks” conversations. For one, it doesn’t really help my writing and then what’s the point? I could be putting that bitter and jealous energy into one of my characters.
What about you? How do you handle or steer clear of “bitter writer” conversations? What do you think of writer envy?
You know, it’s funny, for the most part the writers I know are extremely supportive and kind. I’ve never really encountered a “bitch fest” but I think if I did, I would agree that the person involved was probably just bitter about their own situation.
I try not to say anything bad about any authors, no matter where I am or who I am with. One day I’m determined to be published, and what if word got back to them? I even am careful about saying things about bloggers, because one day they might be published too. After all, this is a business, and it is competitive. We need to learn how to deal with it.
I fell for this once or twice in the beginning, but not anymore. Knowledge really is power, and through it we come to understand what’s important.
I agree it does nothing to bad mouth other writers. I may not like their work and may be jealous that they are published and I’m not but there is room for everyone. There are so many different types of books just cause I think it is bad doesn’t mean someone else doesn’t think it is amazing.
I steer clear of saying anything too “sour” about writers. And really, it’s just because I know that reading is very subjective – I may like something others don’t (and often do), and vice versa. To each his/her own taste.
Someday when I’m published, people will be calling me a hack, and tearing my work apart too, I know that. I just don’t want to be that person – now or after I’m published. It’s unprofessional, IMO (even when the professionals do it).
Lisa: I think in children’s writer circles this may be the case — but I’ve come across some bitter circles and steer far from them.
Tiana: I think a lot of people don’t remember that publishing is a business and that it’s very competitive — especially now in children’s literature. Instead of gripping, writers should be perfecting their craft.
Aimee: Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! Always love it when a BlueBoarder stops by. :) It’s good that you don’t fall for this anymore. When your own work is not going well (as it does), it’s very easy to fall into the trap though.
Jeannine: Yes, there are many types of different books that will “speak” to different people. Just because a book doesn’t speak to you doesn’t make it “bad” — just not for you. Totally agree.
Jamie: I really stay clear of “sour” writers too. I had to cut ties with a writer because once people in our circle started to get published she would start to trash them. I started thinking, “Wow, she will probably do that to me behind my back.” I quickly let that relationship go.
Great comments ya’ll.
I stay as far away as possible from those kind of conversations. And sometimes I have to stay away from the good news boards when I’m feeling discouraged. Even though were are competition, we’re all in it together.
Laura: I hear you. Sometimes in depends on our “frame of mind” when we hear a writer’s success/good news, but in the end, we should support our fellow writers. One day that good news will be about us and we’ll need that support.
I’ve found pretty much all of the online writers I’ve met to be supportive, helpful and generous. Sadly, I’ve heard about these complaining sessions – no one wins. Hopefully people don’t get dragged into them.
You know, I think writers who are just starting out are much more likely to criticize authors – then they realize how hard writing a novel actually is! I love that second quote; I definitely feel much calmer about everything when I’m writing.
Jemi: I think we have both been lucky. I’ve found lots of support from both aspiring and published writers.
Anna: You may have a point here. I think when people become artists, they realize the work that goes behind the art. Less criticism or bitterness may happen because artists know how hard it is to create.
By the way, I left you an award on my blog :)